I'm Selfish, Okay?
by BeWhoYouAreScrewEverythingElse
Summary: "I'm not ready to say goodbye. And I never will be." Blaine breaks it off abruptly from Kurt, not wanting to hold him back. Before 4x04 aired. Kurt & Blaine POV. R & R.
1. Chapter 1

Okay so this is two weeks after the Break-up. Where there is actually a hiatus. Probably going to be a two-shot. I don't own anything.

"I'm not ready to say goodbye." I tell Blaine as I stand in his bedroom doorway. Blaine is stunned to say the least, whether from my presence or words I'm unsure of.

"And I never will be." I finish lamely, drawing us back to the many times I've said similar things. Never in my imagination would I have ever taken Blaine for granted. And yet I did. I will never regret moving to New York but I know that I will also never forgive myself for giving Blaine that kicked puppy look.

Earlier this year I had seen it for the first time, when Blaine found out about Chandler. I made a secret vow to myself to never be the person to make Blaine look like that again. Yet I did. By accepting his promise ring last winter I also promised to always pick up his phone call. Oh look, another lie.

He's giving me that look again, and I know that I have to do something to keep him in my life. Blaine goes to speak but I refuse to let him, though I do feel guilty because his lack of voice was one of the reasons we broke up.

"Before I met you, it was easy to say I was depressed. I had no friends to rely on; I was unsafe and afraid of my school constantly. But then you happened. You just came bursting into my life so swiftly, and our relationship was like a breath of fresh air. No wait, that's a lie. I didn't know how to breathe until I met you." I give myself a chance to catch it now and I wait to see if he will try to talk. He refuses to look at me, instead looking towards his knees where he is seated on this bed.

So I continue, "I'm selfish, okay? And I'm sorry that was so difficult for me to admit. Our relationship had just become so comfortable that I thought it would just always exist and be there, but at the same time I was letting you down every day I was away. I should have called, or picked up your phone calls,"

"Kurt, I can't do this." He tells me brokenly. "I can't just go back to the way we were, because it wasn't working. We've been broken for a while; I think we both know that."

"But, we can fix it right?" I whisper desperately.

"I don't know. You don't think that this is killing me? Kurt every day I feel like I'm drowning and I can't resurface no matter how hard I try. It's how I felt before I met you, and I know we've changed each other for the better but this is too hard. It's too much. I think you need to go." He tells me.

"No, I'm not leaving yet. I'm never saying goodbye to you." I say out loud, more to myself then to him. I shake my head and rush forward and sit in front of him on my knees. Tears start to leak from his eyes.

"I'm done. Okay, we're done." He tells me but refuses to look me in the eyes.

"I'm not saying goodbye. Blaine, please look at me. Why won't you look at me? Blaine, baby…" I start to panic.

"You don't get it!" Blaine suddenly explodes, getting up from his bed. "You don't think I love you? You don't think that I would rather not exist than have you _on your knees_ begging to have me back?" The tears come quickly, and I didn't even realize that some of my own were leaking out.

"What do you want? I'll do anything for you Blaine. Anything! I'll come back to Lima, I'll stay." I promise brashly. "I love you too much to lose you. I'm selfish Blaine, I need you. And I know you need me too."

"Yeah, come back to Lima. That would solve absolutely nothing. And you don't get to decide whether I need you or not. _You're_ _not my boyfriend_." He spits at me. I flinch from the venom in his voice. His eyes soften from my reaction and suddenly he curls up in a ball on his bed again, away from me. He's shaking and it takes me a moment to realize that he is sobbing.

"I don't care." I tell him after a moment, though I know my voice is too weak to carry. He doesn't respond. I sit in front of him again and frame his face in my hands, and force him to look at me fully for the first time since I was back in Lima.

"I don't care. I still love you and whether or not you're my boyfriend doesn't matter. We need each other because we healed each other, and not we're breaking all over again. I love you Blaine. You are the love of my life. I'm sorry." It takes me a moment to register that this was actually my first actual apology of the night.

"I'm sorry." I repeat, and his tears may have stopped but his body is still racking with sobs. So I pull him close and hug him like its goodbye, which I fear it is. I want to kiss away his tears but I realize that I no longer have the right too.

I speak into his ear, "I need you, and I love you. So I'll take whatever you will give me. Whether that's husband," His throat catches. "boyfriend, friend, or acquaintance; because I'm selfish and I need you in my life. I need you Blaine. You may not need me but I will _always_ need you. I'll take whatever little piece of life you want to give and will cherish it." I pull back to look at him again. "And if you feel that it's too much, then I'll leave you alone. But just know that this is me fighting for you; this is me at my most desperate. Because what we have is worth fighting for Blaine, it really is." I bite my tongue before I add a pet name to the end of my speech.

His whisper is so soft I almost miss it, "I need you too." His eyes are shy as they meet mine on his own accord.

"I'm never saying goodbye to you." I say before pulling him back in for an embrace, hoping desperately that it won't be our last.

Angst, angst, angst, angst. This is a two chapter fiction so I hope you will read the second half when I write it. Read and Review.


	2. Chapter 2

I left a little while later, without as much as a kiss or hug goodbye. At this point I have no idea what Blaine and I are. We're currently not Klaine right now, are we even friends?

We've both admitted that we need each other, and I think it's pretty obvious that we both love each other and still want to be together. I just don't know how to fix this. I'm not selfish for going to New York, but I was for urging Blaine to transfer to McKinley last year, I was for focusing on only myself instead of both of us. It's like a smack in the face when I realize that is where all our problems stem from. I was so focused on Blaine "neglecting" me last year that I started flirting with another guy to get the attention I wanted so badly. I hadn't even considered how Blaine was feeling or why he would treat me such a way. All that mattered was that he wasn't doing what I wanted him to do. I feel sick to my stomach.

After we had finally let go of each other and the tears had subsided Blaine told me that I wasn't selfish, but I can't believe him. I broke us, it's my fault. He told me I should leave though, and I decided to actually listen to him this time.

I go to bed that night fitfully and when I "wake up" (I wasn't sure whether I slept or not) I feel so exhausted. I just want to lie in bed all day and let the comforter absorb me in all my horror.

My dad comes in wondering why I'm still in bed. He's knows Blaine and I have been having issues but he doesn't know that we're no longer together. I don't have the heart to tell him. He sits on the side of my bed and rubs my back soothingly saying that we'll sort it out. Guilt pools in my stomach as I give him a non-committal shrug.

I hear my phone go off with a text and my heart jumps around erratically.

_When does your plane leave? – Blaine_

No heart at the end, no x or o's. I guess we really aren't together. My hands are shaking as I type a response.

_It leaves at eight, so I'm heading to the airport around six. – Kurt_

I want to add an "I love you" at the end but that wouldn't be fair of me.

_I love you. – Kurt_

I send it anyway, because he needs to know that. Blaine clearly just wants to be friends now, but I can't help but hope that he'll be at the airport, or that he'll at least come to my house to stop by before I head over. I look to my clock and see that it's four o'clock already and I've wasted the day away. I quickly get into a frenzy repacking all my clothes. I check my phone every ten minutes but Blaine never responded to my last text. Five o'clock ticks by. I watch the clock and desperately wait.

5:10

5:12

5:15

5:34

5:47

5:54

5:58

I hear a knock on the door.

CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV

My heart feels like it is literally shattering into a thousand pieces. I want to see him, I want to see Kurt so badly. He shouldn't have to be tied down to his high school sweetheart though, that's all we were right? The moment he was in New York he completely lost sight of me, and I can't blame him. He's outgrown me. He keeps saying how much he wants me but I know this is for the best. He's a star. No one really saw him though, not the way I did. But now that he's in New York everyone will realize what a perfect person he is, how this multi-faceted person once grazed me with his love. His "I love you" text brought on a whole new round of body-quaking sobs.

What am _I_ really? I'm a perfectly friendly young man. I put on the façade so well that most people don't see it. I have a father who refuses to acknowledge my presence, a mother who is convinced this is just a faze, and a missing-in-action brother despite his promise months ago. My closest friends _were_ the Warblers until they turned their backs on me, and I can't blame them. Didn't I do the same by transferring? Though I am starting to feel better with Sam by my side it's just not the same. But I'll hold onto his friendship as much as I can because he is my only real friend now. Okay, maybe Sugar's sort of a friend but it's not like I can exactly go cry on her shoulder now. I can't even see Sam since he lives at the Hummels. I'm so lost and I have no idea what I'm going to do.

But that's not what people see. McKinley sees the bright smile while I'm dying inside; the obnoxious bow-ties which screams joy and dapperness. Maybe I'm just fucking sick of it all now.

I need Kurt. _I need him_. But he's outgrowing me and I refuse to be the person that holds him to Lima; to his little piece of hell.

Before I am even consciously aware of what I'm doing I've left my house and am running outside. The clouds look dark and menacing and I greet the possibility of rain with a sort of twisted smile. That's so _Blaine _isn't it? Being so freaking dramatic, and musical, and freaking gay. I think the only time I haven't hated being Blaine was when I was KurtandBlaine.

My strides become longer as I run towards my destination, finally figuring out where my legs are taking me.

CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV

5:58

I hear a knock on the door. My heart is pumping so fast I think it might burst; though something in the back of my head tells me that this isn't quite right. I hear a second knock and it's more like a pounding than anything else. I check my hair in the front hall mirror before opening the door widely.

"Hey dude, we both forgot our house keys. It's pouring out." Finn smiles at me and I see Sam's golden locks behind him. My mind just can't handle this information; I finally let myself really break down as I collapse on the floor in the front hall.

Author's note: I'm sorry that was really mean. Okay, no longer a two shot this is going to be a full length story now. :P Lots of angst to come. I'm going to switch between Blaine and Kurt POV throughout now. Now the real question is, where is Blaine headed?


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: I'm so sorry for my lack of writing. The Break-Up episode happened and I just didn't feel like writing because of it and then school became absolute hell for me. But I am back and will be updating about once a week or every two weeks, I have a proper academic break in just over two weeks so things will get back on track then. Also, I'm going to keep with my idea of why they broke up. So this story is only accurate until 4x03. Thanks for reading this. **

Eventually I stopped in front of a house I knew so well I could practically close my eyes and not get lost in it. Thump. Thump. Thump.* I pounded my fist against the door and hoped among anything else that they were home.

I was originally headed to Elizabeth Hummel's grave to talk to her. It was something I had been doing alone when Kurt had first taken me there after we started dating. I used to just sit and talk to her, the way I wanted to towards a mother; the way I wish I could talk to my own. It gave me a bit of happiness whenever Kurt wasn't available. I still had a way of being connected to him, and I wished that Elizabeth would've accepted me as Kurt's boyfriend. Kurt said she was such an amazing person, and I wish I could've met her.

I had only just realized now that I no longer have the right to visit her; I had broken her son's heart (though he broke mine as well).

The front door finally opened and I was glad to see Hiram and Leroy Berry. They had helped me out with the Kurt/Chandler situation last year; way more than Ms. Pillsbury ever could. I hope that they would be able to give me some insight now.

CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV

Tears slowly trickle down my cheeks as I moved my tray into its upright position for landing. I'm glad I didn't bring a full-size luggage bag so I could simply get off the plane and hail a cab ride to the train station. I talk quietly to myself to calm the nerves.

_Just another half hour Kurt. Keep it together**. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. No breaking down now, don't let them see you cry***._

I finally make it back to the loft with only tears escaping my eyes, no sobs yet. I slide the door open and Rachel looks up at me from her seat at the kitchen table. I promised I'd call her when I had fixed things with Blaine. We make eye contact; we both know that the call was never made. She takes my hand as I seemed to have frozen to the spot, and she gently tugs me over to the couch and sits down next to me. Rachel doesn't say a word; knowing it would only makes things worse at this point. She pulls my head to her chest and I let myself be comforted by her.

Finn and Sam had tried to awkwardly help me, but it wasn't the same. They weren't Blaine or Rachel.

CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV

"Do you want to say goodbye to him?" Hiram asks me finally.

"No, of course not." I respond instantly.

"Then why are you?" He asks me.

"It hurt too much. Love isn't supposed to feel like this. It's not supposed to make you immobile and so distraught that your whole being just wants to cave in. There is still supposed to be light in your life. It's not supposed to being a spiralling tornado that stops you from breathing. That's how I started feeling two weeks after Kurt was gone. There's no way something like that could be healthy. It wasn't right." I explain to them, finding the words I hadn't been able to last night.

"Okay, so what happened after two weeks of him being away? What suddenly changed in your life besides his obvious absence; because you sort of had a similar experience after he transferred back to McKinley and you were still at Dalton." Hiram asks again.

"He stopped calling. He never returned a phone call. He'd cancel Skype dates with a quick "Sorry, busy." He didn't really want to be with me anymore. New York is so big and has so much to offer him, why should his high school sweetheart hold him back? It makes no sense. I'm useless anyway. My brother doesn't care about me and my parents would prefer that I limit social contact as much as possible. The Warblers never even checked on me when I was in the hospital because one of _their_ classmates almost blinded me! And New Directions just puts up with me because I'm Kurt's boyfriend! Or I was…" I whisper the last part.

"Blaine Anderson!" Leroy speaks for the first time since we had all sat down at the Berry kitchen table, sipping on coffees as we spoke. "You two, are a lot more than high school sweethearts; I can guarantee you that. I've seen high school sweethearts; Rachel has had three for heaven's sake! The difference between you and Kurt is that you survived together. You survived being tormented together, survived the bullies together, and this has made you dependant on each other. Rachel did it all herself; and I'm not saying this is better, it's just different. It doesn't make her need her partner. Kurt did some of the work himself, but you were completely a goner. I know from what Rachel has told me of your past that you were once emotionally devoid; just a perfect-cut Dalton gentleman playing the part who wasn't really living. Kurt made you live again. The problem is you became KurtandBlaine, never Kurt and Blaine. And now that he is in New York he's started to learn how to just be Kurt, while you don't know how to just be Blaine. You need to look really hard at yourself and try to figure out who Blaine is because I'm pretty sure you've lost sight of him. You latched onto Kurt and depended on him to be your missing brother, your missing parents, your missing friends, everything. Kurt needs you only as his boyfriend." Leroy takes a deep breath.

"What I'm trying to say is, if you ever get back together with Kurt - DON'T interrupt because I know one day you'll wake up and realize what a mistake you have made - you have to discover who you are; you can't be just andBlaine for the rest of your life. Think it over." He finishes gently.

We silently drink the rest of our coffee and Hiram offers me a ride home, knowing I'm a little afraid of Leroy at the moment. He drops me off and wishes me best of luck before I quietly make my way to my bedroom and fall into a restless sleep.

CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV

I wake up groggy finding Rachel sleeping beside me on my bed. I can safely say that if I saw her in my bed three years ago I would have screamed and punched her in the face. Wow, how times have changed. My heart is thick as I realize I have to get back to work and pretend that everything is okay, like I'm not hurting. I ache to call Blaine even though I know I shouldn't. We were friends after all, right? We need each other. Friends can call each other and sends silly morning greetings, right? I ask myself honestly if I have ever done that for Rachel. The resounding NO in my head only causes me more distress.

I have just sat down at work; pretending to be as upbeat as ever. Everyone seems to know that something is off. Even Isabel has noticed, though she doesn't say anything; I'm grateful she doesn't. I do my work flawlessly, but nothing more. I feel like a robot; like I'm just going through the motions without really living.

Going through the motions without really living… these words strikes a note with me, and I try to figure out why. It's not until I'm on the subway home after work that I realize why. It's the words Blaine used to use before he met me. He had told me that after our first time together, we we're laying in his bed and he said the words so simply.

"_You know I wasn't really living before I met you. Just doing whatever I needed to do day in and day out; performing made me feel alive but only for a few minutes at a time. Then you came along, and just completely swept me off my feet." He paused for a moment, smiling softly to himself._

"_I never had a crush on you. I just fell in love, so quickly I didn't even notice." He smiled so brightly his eyes crinkled and I swore I fell in love with him again in that moment. I leaned forward and kissed him, somehow even more passionately then I had just hours before._

I smiled at the recollection, and then immediately frowned.

Was that how he felt again after I left? When I didn't return a call or ignored a text message? My heart felt heavy from past memories, but now I'm suffocating all over again.

Inspiration suddenly struck me as I try to piece together how to fix us. I quickly make it back up to Rachel's and my apartment before getting out various supplies. I know that what I'm doing is definitely outside the friend's border but lines were made to be blurred, broken, oh whatever.

Rachel gets home half an hour later and sees me focused on my work. I am determined to get the first part sent off within the week and it has to be perfect. Rachel must see the determination in my face because she quietly says, "You're going to do anything to get him back, aren't you?"

I look up into her bright brown hopeful eyes, which reflect my own.

"I have to."

CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV

A few days later I am sitting in bed, quietly strumming my guitar. Before I was bullied I used to fiddle around with it, sometimes write certain chords and lyrics down; it seemed like a decent enough place to start. I wasn't ready to open up to other people, though the Berrys' assured me that I would with time. I hear a soft knock on the door so I put the guitar down and walk to the front door.

I open it to reveal a bored looking postal worker.

"Package for Anderson." He says lazily. I take the box and sign the slip, wondering what my parents had ordered. On the top that I notice the perfect scrawling of Blaine Anderson, in writing I would recognize anywhere.

I take the package to the kitchen and delicately open it with the help of some scissors. In the box is a misshapen square. I look at it closely and decipher that it is a piece of a puzzle; but I can't figure out what it may be a picture of. It's just a yellow, something or other, with a dark blue background. I turn it over and see words that both break me down and hold me together all at once.****

"Just know that you're not alone."

**Author's Note: Oooooooooh, what's to come? Super long chapter as apology for the delay. This was going to be two chapters but now it is one. I'm being kind to you all. **

*** If you want a little pick me up after this depressing little spiel, read my story Thump, Thump, Thump to get two perspectives on the first Klaine kiss.**

**** Search "BA – Keep It Together" on Youtube if you have the time. I know I used this in context with Kurt in the chapter but I feel like this video completely captures how I view Blaine.**

***** I'm quoting Becky because that line always breaks my heart. It's also how I view Blaine and I'm trying to get Kurt to realize how Blaine felt when they were apart. **

****** I just noticed that I stole the second half of that sentence from a fanfiction called Perfect, Not Broken which is the saddest Klaine fic I have ever red. It's only Livejournal and you all should read it. I like the line too much to change it now. Cited!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Okay, so I'm sorry for how long it has taken me to update. I just had two midterms and had a course where I had to run a restaurant (an actual one with real customers and shit. It was a very hard course.) But here is the next chapter, more updates very soon!**

It's 10:04 AM on Saturday when I hear a faint chirp from my phone across the loft. I know its Blaine because I had assigned him his own ringtone. Rachel said it would make me less jumpy every time my phone went off. I open up the message with shaking hands.

_Thank you. I miss you. – Blaine_

I don't think a simple text has ever filled me with this much joy. This also means that Blaine received the first piece and I'm already rushing across the loft getting the next piece ready to send. I still need to finish the whole picture but the bottom right corner was complete so I could start sending those parts. It's funny that I might not be able to ever actually see the full masterpiece. I find each day becomes more bearable because I know this is my way to winning Blaine back. We will rebuild each other piece by piece if that's what it takes.

_I miss you too. – Kurt_

It's comforting to know that this line of communication is now open to us. I may not be allowed to hear his voice or kiss his lips but at least I still have this.

CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV

"What's that honey?" My mom comes down the stairs to investigate my package. She's actually home for once but my dad isn't. He's supposed to be coming home tomorrow night, and we're having company over. We'll have to pretend to be the perfect family and convince everyone that we are the "American Dream"; maybe that is how I became so good at faking my emotions.

"Just something Kurt sent me. I'm not sure what it is exactly." I gently explain to her. Her eyes narrow at me.

"Well you should throw it out then. There's no use in keeping it, if it's just garbage. Besides, I thought you dumped him." She says in her most sugary sweet and thoroughly unconvincing voice.

"We're still friends." I tell her, not wanting to get into the details of how much I miss him; how much my hearts aches to feel his hand in mine.

"Well tomorrow night your father and I expect you to be on your best behaviour. Cynthia and Greg are bringing their daughter Claire over; they really want you to meet her." She says rather coyly. It's my turn to narrow my eyes. By best behaviour she means straight behaviour.

"Just because I no longer have a boyfriend doesn't mean I'll magically become straight, _mother._" I tell her steely. She knows there is no use arguing with me so she acts as passively aggressive as she can.

"Well, we'll see. Don't you worry about it until tomorrow. She's such a doll too. Got early acceptance into Cornwall and is going to pursue law like her father. She's got the most lovely blue eyes and pale skin." She explains to me. Just because a girl looks like Kurt doesn't mean I'll fall for her. I refrain from rolling my eyes and instead pick up my – puzzle piece? – and make my way upstairs. I secure it in a safe in my closet just to make sure it's not _accidentally _thrown away.

The next night proves to be more nightmarish than expected. After receiving another puzzle piece from Kurt (more blue and yellow design), I send him the same text and he replies in turn.

_Prejudice is just ignorance_. The words on the back of today's piece become even more important tonight than I could ever imagine.

Clare comes over and she was probably one of the nicest people I have ever met in my entire life. Her father on the other hand; is probably the most homophobic person I have ever met. I swear, I tried to bear it. But there are some things even dapper Blaine can't handle.

"So Blaine," Greg began at the dinner table. "I hear you're a senior. What are you planning on taking next year?" I hate his nasally voice, he would be a terrible singer. Or rather, I don't hate him. I just hate why my father has invited this family over.

"Either NYU or Tisch for music production. I was originally planning on going to NYADA for dramatic arts but I feel like this might be a better fit." I explain to him, only just realizing now how much my plans had changed. My father is quick to intercept me however.

"But of course he will also be studying business with music production. Aren't you Blaine?" He gives me a look that clearly says that I better agree. I nod my head quietly, because I know that's the best I can do at the moment.

"Well, if you want to go into business you should strive for Yale or Cornwall like Clare here. No point in limiting yourself to just New York schools." Greg adds to my father's words. Clare just looks embarrassed.

"I feel that New York is my calling, no matter what subject I end up studying. I like the idea of being in a big city where there is so much growing talent and variety of people."

"The wrong kind of people." I hear my dad mutter under my breath. Greg must have heard because he is quick to jump onto that thought.

"I completely agree with you. The city seems to be infested with…_those_ people. You can't walk down a street anymore without seeing flamers shoving their lifestyle down our throats. That's why I'd never let Clare end up there. I don't want her around those kinds of influences." Okay, I am officially allowed to hate him now. Clare just looks ashamed at this point as she moves peas with her fork around her plate. Her mother doesn't say a word and just slowly nibbles on a piece of ham. It takes all my will power to not tell Greg that his daughter is currently sitting across from one of those _influences._

I know my father is beyond pleased by my silence, but Greg doesn't stop.

"It's just so unnatural right? So disgusting. It's clearly against nature; they can't reproduce or even raise children properly. I feel bad for the poor orphans who get adopted by gay couples. Their childhoods are now so screwed up, I don't know what those adoption agencies are thinking." Clare looks concerned as she sees my right hand ball up the tablecloth. It's visibly shaking and I'm doing all I can at this point. She finally speaks up.

"Surely growing up with two gay parents is more ideal than no parents at all though?" She aims her question at her father.

"Oh dearie, always seeing the best; so young, so naïve. Once you see the world you'll know how truly disgusting those fags really are; but let's not talk about this anymore. It's not worth our time."

My body relaxes knowing that the subject is over. "Blaine, I heard you recently broke off a relationship. Clare did too. You two should hang out and get to know each other better." The look he levels at me as a future prospect for his daughter is disgusting, he's practically leering at me. I'm not sure why, maybe it's the lies about my past relationship my father has been telling everyone, but I've finally hit my breaking point.

"Yes, my ex-boyfriend _Kurt_ is currently in New York interning at . We found the distance a bit too difficult to manage but we're still _very close_." I emphasize my words to make sure he gets a clear picture. Greg's face pales considerably and my father chokes on his food. My mother smacks him on the back to clear his throat.

"Blaine!" He says after he gains his voice back. I look up innocently from my plate and his face is red from rage.

"I'm just talking about my ex, that's not inappropriate is it?" I inquire. I look over at Clare whose hand is covering her mouth and I see her shaking to try and stop giggles from escaping. I immediately like Clare. Her parents make an excuse to leave shortly after and she slips me a piece of paper.

"Now that our parents' aren't forcing us to date, let's be friends." Her phone number is below the message and I make a silent vow to text her later. I give her a hug goodbye and see disapproving glares from all four adults. I close the door behind her and my heart suddenly drops when I hear my father calling my name.

Time to face the music.

**Author's Note: This night is definitely not over. So hey, I hope you guys liked this. The first chapter was all Kurt so I wanted to do a chapter that was mostly Blaine. He's doing a bit better, but don't be fooled. Recovering from anything comes in leaps, bounds, side-stepping, and backtracking. Just because this chapter wasn't Klaine angst doesn't mean more won't be coming.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Okay, so this has probably been the hardest chapter I've had to write. For some reason it just wasn't coming out properly and I still don't like it that much but I figured I'd post it because it's been two weeks. I hope you enjoy none-the-less.** **Expect lots of angst next chapter and I'll be posting a one-shot soon as well.**

His ringtone interrupts Rachel and I watching Project Runway. I don't care if it's the season premiere; Blaine is calling!

"Hello!" I answer both excitedly and breathlessly before I have the chance to catch my breath from running across the loft. I would think that after not hearing his voice in so long I would miss it; but it sounds too broken.

"Hi." He says simply.

"What's wrong babe?" I let out the pet name before I can stop myself. Either he didn't notice or he doesn't care.

"My parents are kicking me out." And just like that, my heart breaks for him all over again.

CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV

I turn towards my father before he has the chance to yell for me again. He doesn't look angry like I expected, more resigned really. I notice how he doesn't look me in the eye though, taking a deep breath before speaking a well-rehearsed speech.

"We've been through this countless times. In front of company, you are not to disclose your… fixation." He grumbles. "It's too shaming and you are not to speak of it again. You have completely embarrassed myself and your mother." He pauses for a beat.

"If you're expecting an apology than you shouldn't hold your breath." I speak as politely as I am able to.

"Blaine!" My mother is shocked and looks sincerely confused; her little boy Blaine doesn't talk back.

"We'll give you one more chance, Blaine." My father says calmly. "If you don't smarten up by next weekend than you will no longer be welcome in this house."

"By smarten up, you mean…"

"You're an intelligent boy. Figure it out."

My breath catches in my throat. Would my parents seriously throw me out for refusing to stay in the closet? I turn around and silently stalk to my bedroom, unsure of what to do. He was so cool about it; I know this was a speech he had prepared for quite some time. It's that thought which causes my eyes to sting. I start to seriously consider my options. There isn't a doubt in my mind that I would be forced to date one of their friends' daughters if I keep my mouth shut. I couldn't possibly do that; for my sanity and for Kurt (it would feel like cheating).

I collapse on my bed and start shaking from all the bottled up emotions and stress in my life. It's all I can do to not punch a wall and I suddenly wish my punching bag was in my room.

I can't call Sam or Sugar, they wouldn't understand what's going on. Only one person knows about all of my parent's attempts to turn me straight. Am I allowed to call him? I'm past the point of caring and I sigh before slowly reaching for my phone and dialling the number.

"Hello!" I hear him answer brightly.

"Hi." I say simply.

"What's wrong babe?" I'm amazed that he immediately knows that something is wrong, and I don't try to even stop my heart from swelling at the old pet name. I try to remind myself that it's probably just a bad habit and that Kurt doesn't mean anything by it.

"My parents want to kick me out." And just like that, the dam breaks.

I explain everything that happened to Kurt and just let it all out; friends are allowed to do that, right? After I finish my bout of verbal diarrhoea Kurt seems speechless. It takes a few minutes for everything to properly sink in.

"What am I going to do, Kurt?"

"Don't you turn eighteen on Saturday?" He asks me, which seems really out of place. I wonder if my parents even realized that they would be kicking their son out on his birthday.

"Uh yah, so I guess there's no foster care to worry about or anything." I remark quietly.

"Didn't your grandfather leave you some inheritance?" Kurt asks.

"Yes, it reserved for me to use for college." My words die out quietly as I realize what this could mean for me.

"Stop! Don't go getting any ideas now. Give me ten minutes. I'll call you back, okay?"

"Okay, Kurt." He hangs up and I wonder what he's up to. I try to distract myself from my current predicament by messing with my suitcase. After twelve minutes (not that I was counting), Kurt calls back with an idea so absurd, but for now seems like my only option. I'm just so hurt though, by what my parents have done to me, I just want a little bit of revenge. Kurt agrees all too readily with me.

"You have Clare's number, right?" I smile when I hear his scheming voice.

I readily respond, "Whatever the plan is, I'm in."

Each day passes uneventfully; with the exception of Kurt's puzzle pieces; one that is dark blue and yellow, one with red stripes, and another that resembles some bread of all things. They leave me confused but each message he sends never fails to make me smile.

_My heart stops, when you look at me._

_It isn't silly. Love isn't silly at all._

_I've been looking for you forever._

**Author's Note: I know this is a super short chapter but I'm really anxious to get this one up and I'm extremely excited for the next one. The next chapter is going to flip around a lot with POV so I hope it's not too confusing. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Fast update is fast. It will probably be at least a week or two until my next update because I'm still trying to figure out most of the dialogue (and I have finals coming up). Next chapter will be equal parts Kurt and Blaine POV, than a bigger focus on Kurt again in the future. This entire story will be about 10 to 12 chapters, I think. :P I immensely enjoyed writing this chapter and I hope you enjoy reading it.**

**Sincerely, Jenn (BeWho)**

Each day ticks by slower than the last. I'm desperately waiting for Blaine to figure out the first section of his puzzle. The other parts lay scattered across my desk waiting patiently to be sent to their new owner.

I'm nervous about our plan, thinking now that it's too brash. Unfortunately these thoughts have come too late as it is already set in motion, no time to back out now. Friday comes and my heart aches knowing what Blaine will go through tomorrow. I know it's all a part of this scheme we've designed but I can't even imagine my father wanting to disown me; especially about something that I can't help. Well, I guess he could stay closeted but that feels too traitorous. If you can't be true to yourself than who can you be true to?

I know Blaine even tried some reasoning this week. He wouldn't keep his identity hidden, but maybe he wouldn't attend those fancy dinners with an excuse of homework or something. That way there would be no family friends questioning where his girlfriend is, or trying to set him up with their various daughters. His father gave a resounding "no" and a not-so-gentle pat on the back. I shiver thinking of how much he's been through; at least he still opens up to me.

My thoughts are interrupted by my daily text from Blaine. I expect the usual "thank you" greeting but my heart leaps when I read those three simple words.

I love you. – Blaine

POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE

Wait, what did I just do? Why did I send that? I'm supposed to let Kurt go, he's too good for me. I need to stop holding him back, confusing his with my personal turmoil. Try as I might; I could never not be friends with Kurt. But now I've messed that all up again, maybe I could sneak in some damage control.

**Sorry, wrong number. It was meant for Cooper. – Blaine**

Well, that's lame. But does it work?

It takes twelve minutes for my phone to go off, and I assume that means that Kurt just hadn't seen any of the texts yet.

I look at my phone, expecting a text from Sam about tomorrow's plan.

_Please, stop lying to me. – Kurt_

I need to fix this, I text back another lame response but I'm running out of excuses.

**No, I'm not. You're under Cutie which is right below Cooper. – Blaine**

Shit, that is not better at all. I should have just left it at the "No, I'm not" like a crossed child.

_That's not much better. – Kurt_

A call comes through less than ten seconds after I have the read Kurt's last text. I pick up my phone with shaking hands and click the answer key while simultaneously failing to greet my caller.

"I know you are lying Blaine, I don't understand anymore. Why are you doing this? I thought I was just a terrible boyfriend before and you needed more support from someone else. I just don't understand." His voice sounds more tired than I expected, it catches me off guard. And suddenly, the truth comes falling out.

"Kurt," I say after a pause, "I can't love you, it hurts too much." I hear an intake of breath from the other side of the line, but this confession has changed something in me. It's lightened the load of a weight on my chest that I desperately want off now. "It hurts when you're away and I can't get through to you. You're too good for me, Kurt. You're too big for a high school glee club, for an emotionally unstable boyfriend, for Lima. You're too great for all of it. It's just held you back from being the wonderful, incredible, talented man you are. You're too forgiving, and beautiful, and pure, and passionate for a life like this."

I take a deep breath to continue. Kurt waits patiently for me; it feels like he's always waiting for me to catch up. To catch a glimpse of the shining star that is Kurt Hummel. He should know that he'd be left waiting forever, and he deserves more than that.

"You shouldn't be sending me these pieces, trying to convince me to be with you. _I_ don't even know who I am!" I let out a sharp humourless laugh. "Before I was SmallBlaine who was bullied and beat up on. Than I was GayBlaine and it only got worse. WarblerBlaine worked for a while, and then I was KurtandBlaine. What am I now? Just another washed up Lima Loser, who has already had his high school glory days. You shouldn't have to deal with this; you can't possibly love someone like me." My voice breaks, and suddenly I can't breathe anymore as my voice dies out completely.

"You're right. I don't love someone like that." Those words hurt worse than I could've imagined. This is why I ended things first, so I wouldn't have to deal with this. I preach courage but my true colours show now. I am a coward. He continues.

"I love _you._ Blaine Devon Anderson. You are the dorky boy who grew up handsome but never seems to have realized it.*" I scoff at this but let him continue.

"You are the boy who asked me to dance in a crowded room of judgemental eyes. You are the boy who reached out to a bully in desperate need of help without truly knowing who I was. You are the boy so kind, so compassionate that you put everyone's needs before your own. You are the boy who just wants someone to be proud of you. But above all, you are the man who I fell for the moment I saw those hazel eyes looking up at me, at the bottom of a staircase in my Junior year of high school." My hearts pounds audibly and I now know that I won't ever be able to heal from Kurt.

"But that's not all. You love dancing in your bedroom to Bryan Ferry music and you sing with too much charisma and charm. You bottle up all of your emotions and don't let anyone see the quiet, reserved side of you. The only way you know how to express these emotions is through song, so it's not surprising you've started writing music instead of just singing it. You would do everything in your ability to make peace and avoid a fight. You're too forgiving to everyone except yourself. You make mistakes and never let them go."

"You're my heart and my soul because you saw me when no one else did. You're self-righteous and think you know what's best for everyone except yourself. _Blaine_, it is not _your_ decision whether or not I'm too good for you. It's mine, and I need you to know how wrong you are. I need you Blaine. Not Warbler, or Small, or KurtandBlaine, or Gay (okay, I might need that a little)… " I laugh at this, only Kurt could bring a smile to my face like this.

"I just need Blaine. And each day we we're together I was anxious to learn more and more about the beautiful, dapper, courageous man who've I've had to privilege to call my own. I still am, anxious to learn more. I want to know everything about you, flaws, scars, and all. I understand that you're still trying to figure out who you are, I am too. But I just need you to know that you're already perfectly imperfect to me."

My voice is ragged, my throat quaking with sobs that refuse to stop. I could never have imagined the love that I felt in this moment. He just coos gently and lets me cry until my sobs turn to small whimpers, I wish he was here for me to hold.

"Call me tomorrow and tell me how everything goes with the plan." He pauses for a moment. "I love you." He knows I won't respond and just leaves that hanging in the air.

I look over to my desk and see the partially assembled collage with Pavarotti and some stripes behind him, words beautifully mapped across him. He's not complete, and he only makes up about a sixth of the final product, but it's this image which caused me to send that fateful text.

"There is a moment when you say to yourself, "Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you forever." – Blaine Anderson 15.03.2011

"Every moment I've had with you since, I keep falling head over heels in love again." – Kurt Hummel 23.11.2012

I respond so quietly, I'm not sure if he hears me at first.

"I love you too."

**Author's Note: Is it a bad or good thing that my own writing caused me to burst out in tears. I think I deserve reviews for this chapter. Lots please. **** Thank you for reading.**

**Sincerely, Jenn (BeWho)**

*** I saw a similar quote to this on tumblr and loved it. I apologize that I can't cite the original source.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Okay, so I have no internet access (as I'm writing this, obviously if I have posted the chapter than I would have had access), so this is my excuse to not study for finals. Woo. This chapter is a little cracky but I hope you enjoy it. Just a side note, I imagined Clare looking like the Crawford Country Day girl who gave Blaine her phone number after the Animal performance (the one of the right). **

I wake up in the morning with a pile of nerves in my stomach. I look around my barren bedroom and am saddened that I will no longer be living in it. I may have had some fairly toxic relationships with my parents, but this bedroom was my sanctuary away from it all. But I suppose as long as I'm going to New York next year it wouldn't have been my home anyway.

I stand up and get dressed with the outfit I had laid out today. No bowties or pink suspenders for today; just a simple white button down and loose fitting jeans for once. My hair is left un-gelled and I give myself a quick shave so I suppose I look suitably straight, or rather half-straight. I grin impishly to myself as I get my final letter to my parents and put it down on my bed.

I'm having my morning cereal and coffee when I receive an incoming call from Clare.

"Hello?" I say, feigning surprise.

"Well hello there stranger, how's it feel being my boyfriend?"

"Meh, it's okay. You could use some more penis though." She laughs at my lightly before sobering up. I find myself cracking a small smile as well. Ever since my talk with Kurt yesterday I can't help but feel a little bit freer, I'm almost excited to work out the rest of the plan for today.

"Are you going to arrive soon?" I ask her.

"Yep, I'm feeling pretty excited. I don't think I've ever done something quite like this before. Can you imagine the reactions?" She asks me giddily.

"Well, we won't have to imagine for much longer. And are you sure this is okay? I don't want to get you kicked out of _your_ home." I ask her quietly, secretly hoping that she won't back out.

"Are you kidding me? This information will not be getting out; it's too much of a scandal!" She giggles to herself again. I like Clare a lot; she's really upbeat and super friendly.

The doorbell rings so I say my goodbyes to Clare and get the door. Sam is there waiting, he looks completely relaxed which surprises me.

"I said "Are you ready to rock?"" Sam yells in a poor impression of Gene Simmons.

"So ready!" I yell back, just as enthusiastically. He high-fives me on the way in and I lead him to the kitchen while we wait a few more minutes for Clare. He's dressed in a red polo, bright pink bowtie and well-formed jeans.

"Are you sure you can handle this?" I ask him, I just need to make sure that everyone is prepared for this.

"If you can handle being kicked out," I wince a little at his bluntness. "Sorry, then I am definitely down for this. Besides I am completely _secure in my sexualiteeeeey*_" He sings the last part and does an air guitar riff simultaneously.

Sam being so carefree relaxes me considerably and I only jump a little when I hear a knock. I quickly go to let Clare in. She looks stunning with her dark hair curled lightly and wearing a light blue frock that stops just before her knees. She smiles brightly before leaning in to give me a kiss on the cheek and a warm hug. Sam comes up behind me to greet her as well, and I can't help but notice a certain gleam in his eye before he leans down to kiss her on the hand. Oh, so that's how this is going to be. Clare blushes darkly before taking her hand back slowly. I notice that she puts in behind he back and uses her other hand to caress the spot where Sam's lips kissed her.

"Oh! I brought some muffins, but I left them in the car. _I'll be back!_" She says in her best Arnold Schwartzenegger impression. Clare quickly spins on the spot and goes back to her car.

"Dude." Sam says. "I think your fake girlfriend is my soulmate." His eyes have clouded over and he wears a big goofy smile on his face.

"Well lucky for you she's only going to be my fake girlfriend for another hour." I tell him quickly. This seems to break his focus.

"Right the plan." He shakes his head quickly to clear his thoughts.

When Clare returns we all go to sit at the kitchen table and wait for my parents to arrive. I made both of them medium drips which Clare was grateful for and enjoyed slowly along with the muffins. Sam took his coffee begrudgingly but made sure to smile as he drank it when Clare looked his way; which was fairly frequently. I decided not to comment.

About an hour later the front door finally opens and my parents walk in with their usual luggage and go straight to their bedroom to unpack.

"Aren't they even going to say hi to you?" Sam asks me.

"Yeah, but they don't know I have company over and are thinking that they're kicking me out today." I sigh despite myself. It stings that this is what my relationship with my parents have finally come to. I'm also saddened that I didn't receive a puzzle piece today from Kurt. It usually gives me a lot of courage and I miss not having it to look at, especially because all the other pieces are already packed away.

My mom finally makes her way downstairs and is surprised seeing Clare on my right.

"Oh hello, darling! I didn't know you were over." She says while giving me a brief glare for not letting her know.

"Of course, I am. I would be a terrible girlfriend if I didn't spend some time with my boyfriend on his birthday! It's not every day a boy turns eighteen." She reaches over and grabs my hand lightly while I shoot her a timid smile.

I see my mother's eyes widen comically before she's yelling for my father to come down. She grabs his hand once he's at the bottom of the stairs and practically drags him over to Clare and I.

"Blaine has brought his girlfriend over to help celebrate his birthday today." She says rather proudly.

"It's Blaine's birthday?" I hear him barely whisper to my mother. I grit my teeth but say nothing, not at all surprised by this development. My mother chooses to ignore his comment.

"Oh, and you've brought your friend Sam over as well," She said, just noticing Sam's presence now. Sam gives a small wave from across the table, "I've always liked him, and he's so well-mannered." Her comment's directed towards my father.

"Actually," I say, speaking for the first time, "Sam's not my friend." I can see confusion cross both of their features as to why Sam would be at their house if he wasn't a friend of mine. "He's my boyfriend."

My parents' eyes immediately bug out of their heads and my mother's jaw even drops. Sam goes around the table before taking my other hand and giving me a kiss on the cheek with a big "Mwah!"

"Blaine, I thought we were clear. As long as you choose to act gay, you're not welcome in our home." My father starts before I cut him off.

"Well, I'm not _acting_ gay. I'm _acting _bisexual. Clare knows I'm not attracted to her, sorry Clare."

"It's cool." She says quickly, nodding her head brightly.

"And you said as long as I was gay I wasn't welcome, and I'm not technically acting gay so based on our previous understanding, you can't kick me out." I finish triumphantly. "And you also never said anything about a polygamist relationship, so we're going out for lunch but we'll be back in a while." I know the last part is a lie, but they don't need to know that yet.

Sam doesn't hesitate to pick me up bridal style and carry me out of the house, which was his own improvisation. Clare follows quickly behind us with a hand over her face and blushing from how hard she is trying not to laugh. I give one look back at my parents (who are quite literally frozen as they stare after us) and turn back around, knowing I will never walk through these doors again. As Clare slams the door close I hear my "so completely composed" mother screaming her head off and my dad running to the liquor cabinet for something strong. I know when I don't return that they will eventually find my empty bedroom, barren except for the pajamas I wore last night and my bedspread. They'll find the note outlining how I am not dating Sam or Clare, and what I really think about them in five succinct pages.

I don't feel bad for this little prank, I feel like I got one little piece of revenge and now I am free to live my life as an adult with eighty thousand dollars given to me by my late grandfather. It's not enough to live on forever but it definitely gives me a good head start, that supposing that Burt will actually let me pay rent because he's been pretty adamant against it. Either way, I think it's a pretty decent way to start out my adult life.

**Author's Note: What!? What is this? BeWho wrote a **_**fun**_** chapter, where's the angst at? I'm sorry for how cracky this was, but I hope you enjoyed it. :P I know there has been like no Kurt lately but I will be writing his and Blaine's POV next chapter, then much more Kurt. Hooray! Please R & R if you love Clare too. **

***It's from a song called "Comfortable with my Sexuality" **

**Only about 3 chapters left to go plus epilogue. Thank you to my faithful readers. **** I will also be starting another story a month or two after this one finishes. I'm hoping to be done with this by end of January (or probably sooner) so expect a new story getting started by end of February (right after Winter mid-terms) or probably sooner because I can't seem to stay away.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Welp! Why am I always the most inspired when I should be studying? I remember starting my Hunger Games Fanfiction five days before my summer final and writing more than a chapter a day, and now it gets updated once every two weeks or so. :P Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the last chapter which was seriously lacking in angst. This chapter might have a bit. Whoops! Enjoy! Oh, and a note on Blaine's inheritance. What grandparent would give his barely legal grandchild millions of dollars? Eighteen year olds aren't THAT responsible (okay, maybe some are) so I figured his grandfather would just assume that and gave him enough to last through undergraduate (or at least how much an undergraduate costs in Canada, because that's the numbers I'm going from).**

Sam pulls up to the Hummel's house in his truck, I had left my car back at my parent's place since I didn't really feel like I owned it (plus I didn't pay the insurance on it). I figured I could survive walking to school for a while, and I could always buy one with my inheritance if push comes to shove. I hop out of the back seat as Sam rushes around to open the passenger door for Clare. She blushes at his manners, and it makes me happy that some genuine good has come out of this whole mess. I leave them talking as I approach the front of the house.

Currently, my belongings are stored in the Hummel's car garage so I'll have to start moving things in soon. We had been moving my belongings in all week so that I wouldn't have to rush to pack all my belongings with only the few hours I'm sure my parents would have given before kicking me out completely. Burt greets me at the front of the garage with a firm hug.

"You holding up okay, kid?" He asks me, dropping down a little down so he can look me in the eye.

"I'm doing good," I tell him honestly. "I thought I'd be more upset, but I guess I just feel free."

"Glad to hear it, kid." Burt leans down to open the garage door; I'm surprised by how empty it looks.

"Now, we wanted to make sure you felt at home so Finn, Sam, and I took the liberty of starting to move your stuff in." I go to protest, but he interrupts me. "It was no problem at all, and Carole made sure the boys did most of the heavy lifting. We've set up a single in the guest room for you to share with Sam but not everything fit in there. So we've put your keyboard, guitar, and clothes in Kurt's room for the time being." I swallow audibly. It's weird thinking I may be living partially out of Kurt's room for the rest of the year. Burt doesn't seem to notice my wariness so he continues.

"You and Sam are probably feeling uncomfortable in those clothes you're wearing," Burt gives me a wink, "So why don't you head up and get changed before we move the rest of your stuff in." I hesitate, and engulf Burt in a bear hug (which for my size, is pretty impressive).

"Thank you so much, for everything." I tell him, my eyes tearing by how amazing he's been and so incredibly compassionate. He may say that Kurt gets it from his mother, but Burt Hummel is a saviour who underestimates his impact way too much.

"Don't thank me quite yet, there are more surprises to come." He pulls back and his eyes sparkle conspiratorially. Though highly confused I say nothing and make my way past him.

I had suggested to Kurt that I live with the Berry's (if they would have me) instead of his family, but Kurt was having none of that. Now that Rachel was in New York all the time, the two men vacationed often and were seldom home and Kurt didn't want me to be alone all the time like I used to be. Burt and Carole may now travel more due to his job but at least Sam or Finn would always be around.

I trudge my way slowly up the Hummel-Hudson stairs, not knowing what onslaught of emotions to expect when I get to Kurt's room. It's directly across from the guest bedroom and I take a right, twisting the doorknob of his room open.

"Hi." He says.

POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE POV CHANGE

"Hi." I say, my voice sounding breathless and unsure. I would berate myself but the look on Blaine's face stops my internal monologue. He's right there, in the flesh. His hazel eyes swim around, and I see flecks of blue and gold in them today, succeeding to mesmerize me. He's still silent and I'm not quite sure what to say. We may have confessed to still loving each other yesterday, but this is different. This is us, looking at each other and being unsure of where we stand exactly. I want to yell at him to say something but I realize that I'll have to be the one to break the silence. He continues to stare at me, like he's afraid that if he blinks I'll disappear completely.

"I," My voice seems too loud and too quiet at the same time. Too loud for the room, but too quiet for how I normally talk. "I brought you your puzzle piece." His eyes fall to my hands which hold his package. Blaine slowly approaches me and reaches out to take the parcel from my hands and slowly unwinds the string in front of me. It's the first time I've actually seen him open one of these and I find myself scared, excited, and nervous all at once. He slowly takes out today's piece and examines it closely. It has notebook paper in the background, with a red pen stencilled across it. Across the back it reads,

"Spread your broken wings and learn to fly."

Blaine turns around and stalks out of room and goes across the hall. I'd be slightly put out if he wasn't still staring at the piece of puzzle. He comes back into my room after a moment with all the other pieces I have given him and lays them out on my bed; snuggly fitting the latest piece of it. It's a recreation of the Kurt + Blaine 3 sketch I made in my Junior year while at Dalton. I've looked at it too many times to count, but Blaine has never seen it. With the latest piece in place, the bottom half of the puzzle is done, and so far is composed of Pavarotti, a Dalton tie, various ticket stubs and the heart sketch.

Blaine finally turns his head away from the puzzle and looks at me again. I'm not sure what I see there, but the hazel rolls around with so much turmoil, it unnerves me. He steps towards me, staying about a foot away. I just want to grab him and kiss him senseless, but I know I shouldn't, I should let Blaine go at his own speed. His right hand slowly reaches for my left at my side and he tangles our hands together before pulling them up to rest against his chest. I feel his heart thundering against the back of my hand and I take in a deep shaky breath. He reaches up on his tiptoes and presses his lips to mine. It's not exactly a kiss, more like a comforting pressure which I happily reciprocate. Blaine leans back for a moment and whispers,

"Thank you."

"Happy Birthday." I whisper back.

Hazel eyes meet blue, and I see that the turmoil is no longer there. Instead there is a determination that blazes through, and I am reminded again why I fell in love with this small, charismatic boy. No, man I suppose now.

"I'm going to fight for us, Kurt; just like you did. I'm not going to let anything come between us again, including myself and all my silly insecurities."

"They aren't silly." I retort.

"That being said." He scoffs before sobering up. "I'm never saying goodbye to you." My eyes prick hearing my own words reiterated.

Instead of responding I lean down to catch his lips in a proper kiss, sealing his promise.

**Author's Note: What? Did BeWho right something that is happy? What is this madness? Two more chapters plus an epilogue to go, keep reading! It might be a bit before the next chapters are posted (like a week or more but I'm suddenly excited to finish this). :D More Clam/Slaire coming up (I ship them, don't judge me). As usual, please R & R.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: Hello all! I had my first final today and it five days until the next one so I have decided to write this next chapter. I hope you enjoy it. **** This is probably the fluffiest thing I have ever written. I don't count Chapter 6 as fluffy because it was too sad.**

I hold him for as long as I am able to. I know my dad will be coming up soon to bother us to help move the rest of Blaine's belongings in. But as Blaine presses his lips to my neck, his head huddled against my shoulder, I can't bear having to let go of him yet. His arms and wrapped tightly around my shoulders while my own trace patterns across him back. It's new because usually I'm the one to wrap my arms around him, but it's the best kind of new. I bury my nose into his untamed curls and take a deep inhale before slowly letting go.

Blaine makes a noise of protest even though he knows we have to go help the others. He latches onto my hand quickly before we leave my room. I dread having to leave tomorrow afternoon to fly back to New York, but I will be back in a few weeks for Christmas Break.

I see Sam and Clare sitting closely on the front porch swinging bench, talking to each other in hushed voices. Sam has a lovely tinge of red gracing his cheeks while Clare nods her head fervently. He breaks into a wide grin (well, when is Sam's grin not wide?). I look away to give the two some privacy, and I see Blaine smiling softly at the two of them. He catches me staring at him, and he must see something in my eyes, because he immediately reaches up on his tiptoes to plant a soft kiss on my lips.

My dad comes around the corner of the front hallway and we immediately break apart while he poorly conceals a smirk. He just wordlessly hands us each a box before heading back to the garage.

With the help of Finn, there are only two more trips to get all of Blaine's belongings upstairs. We store all of his clothes in my closet, since most of my wardrobe is in New York. His stand-alone keyboard, guitar, and all of his sheet music are set up in my bedroom as well. We're silent while we organize everything, just enjoying each other's company. There is really nothing more for either of us to say. Blaine arranges the rest of his belongings in the guest room with Sam's stuff.

Lunch has come and gone, but I whip up some sandwiches anyway since everyone is starving. Carole will be coming home soon so she'll help me with dinner in a few hours.

Clare asks to borrow our Wifi to check her email, while I gladly give her. She goes into the living room while we surround the kitchen table, enjoying our sandwiches. I observe Sam staring after her, and I can't help but tease him a bit.

"You really like her, don't you?" I'm quiet enough that only Blaine and Sam can hear me. He sighs heavily.

"I never imagined myself falling for someone so quickly." He says, slightly dazed.

"Neither did I." I reply, catching Blaine's eye. He doesn't even attempt to hide his smile as he links our hands and brings them to his lips to kiss.

Our moment is interrupted by a wheezing gasp coming from the living room. Sam is already gone from his seat before I have the chance to blink. Blaine and I get up quickly to join him.

Clare stares at her phone, her lips trembling and eyes wide.

"Clare, are you okay? Did your parents find out about our plan today? What's wrong?" Blaine is in full panic mode for his friend, who just stares blankly at him, clearly in shock. It's a few moments before she takes a deep breath to speak.

"I had to apply to some schools early so that my parent wouldn't know about them. A lot of schools accept early applications." We all stare blankly at him, not understanding what she's getting at. "I was just checking the online application program, and it says that NYU Law just sent me an offer."

"But it's November. I don't think Blaine or Sam have even done theirs yet." I ask, still confused.

"I applied in July so usually those offers come in sooner. It's not like the arts. They just need my marks and my entrance essay. Apparently my 11th grade marks were impressive enough that they don't even need to see my 12th grade ones. I got into NYU. I got into NYU!" Suddenly she bursts out in tears and Sam quickly pulls her to his chest as she sobs against him. Blaine is unsure of what to do so he just hovers around her and offers words of congratulations with me.

"This is perfect. I can be a lawyer and fight for what I want, without my father hovering around, shoving his ideals on me. If I went to Yale or Cornwall, then he would never leave him be. I'm free." She desperately tries to explain but is often interrupted by hiccups. Blaine seems hesitant, but he knows he needs to bring the subject before Clare starts becoming hysterical.

"But, your parents aren't going to let you go to New York." He sadly reasons. Clare hiccups again before answering.

"Well, they don't get a choice because _I already accepted_!" She lets out, becoming a little shrill, and suddenly we're all dancing around and breaking out the sparkling cider.

"And just to think, this morning you were pretending to be in a polygamist relationship. What a rebel you have become now!" Sam breaks out brightly.

I can't help but imagine that this is how life is supposed to be. Me and Blaine together, celebrating the successes of friends while being surrounded by family.

After we have sobered up, Clare reasons that she won't be letting her parents know this until Graduation; where she will promptly pick up and leave. Sam offers to drive her back to Blaine's to get her car she left there this morning, and so they leave with a farewell hug and a "See you soon!"

We spent the rest of the day wrapped up into each other's arms, watching television and being generally lethargic. Sam gets home and we all sit down to dinner, which is strange with now four teenage boys at the table when there is normally only one or two at most.

My dad doesn't comment when Blaine spends the night in my bedroom, for which I'm grateful for. He knows we won't get up to anything, not this night anyway.

I wake up to find a bird's nest of hair, my arms wrapped around Blaine with his back pressed to my chest. I lean down to kiss him on the ear, which stirs his sleep.

"What time do you have to leave at?" He mumbles, still mostly asleep.

"My plane is at eight, so I need to leave for the airport at six." I'm suddenly struck by a sickening feeling of déjà vu. Hadn't I texted Blaine those words just a week ago? It doesn't seem possible, seeing at how much my life has changed in such a sort amount of time. Everything has tilted on an angle, and just over a week ago I thought that I could never have Blaine back. And here he lies in my arms, and I know he'll be safe in my home until he can join me in New York. And suddenly, it seems like life can't get any better.

**Author's Note: I just realized that his happened over a single week. Mind blown! My friend got accepted on Grade 11 marks in November of our Grade 12 year to a school she applied to super early. Some schools (in Canada) accept people early if Grade 11 marks are high enough (I got accepted in February 2010 :P), and as long as you keep Grade 12 ones above a certain average you're safe. Also, we have a program in Ontario called OUAC where it updates whether a letter of acceptance has been sent and offered, and you accept it online instead of through the mail. I'm not sure how the American system works so I just did the Canadian one. **

**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and we**'**ll be back to Blaine's perspective next chapter and Epilogue will cut between the two. Please R & R.**

**Sincerely, Jenn (BeWho)**

**P.S. Because I'm in finals this one had one edit run-through so I apologize for any errors.**


	10. Chapter 10 Epilogue

It took awhile but Blaine finally got all but one piece of the puzzle. No matter how much he begs I refuse to give it to him. I'm not ready for this part of our story to be over yet.

The puzzle is composed of Pavarotti, the Dalton tie, ticket stubs, and pictures of New York, our family, everything that is important to us. Clare originally wasn't in it but I added her in now; she's too essential not to. All the pieces have bits of wisdom that Blaine has given me over the years without even realizing it. He's made me realize that we're not all who we seem to be. Each of us carries a past that will never be known, experiences that are yet unshared, and insecurities yet to be breached. Each day I venture to discover a little more of this man, that I once thought I knew so well. And each day I never fail to fall more in love with him.

I'm still working at . After spending a semester at NYADA I decided that it wasn't for me. My high school senior self would probably bash me over the head for leaving, but as we grow older dreams change. I still audition for the occasional show, and I usually get to call backs but I've yet to get a part. And that's okay. Because I love performing but I'm not too dedicated right now. Maybe in the future, but I'm currently fine to design clothes.

Blaine's in New York too. He's does music producing at NYU which I think really shocked everyone. He's a wonderful performer but he likes writing music, some of which he performs himself and other songs he gives to friends and classmates to perform. His generosity never fails to astound me.

Our puzzle is framed on the wall with only the center piece missing. It hadn't been my original intention for it to be empty still, but I think all along I knew what the last piece would be.

Rachel and Clare live with us as well. I would have liked to move in with just Blaine but it's expensive in New York, and surprisingly Clare and Rachel have really hit it off. Sam goes to Kentucky State so he could be closer to his family, but he visits usually once a month and stays for the weekend, usually in Clare's room.

It's nearing the end of April and Blaine's first year of college is almost over. He has this huge concert where the students perform their own music. Clare, Sam, Rachel and I sit at a table near the front of the beautifully ornamented hall on the NYU campus. Blaine is waiting backstage and I would give anything to hold his hand to reassure him, but I know he'll be fine even if he says he isn't. Tonight's the night after all. He doesn't know it, but I do. My leg thrums with anticipation and Rachel gives me a questioning look. I just shake my head and we continue listening to the amazing opera singer before us.

Blaine is the next performer to come up on stage.

"Hi," He says shyly as his voice breaks. That's strange, Blaine is always such a calm and collected performer. "This song is dedicated to the love of my life. I love you, Kurt." I feel my eyes sting and it's all I can do to not burst out crying. I hear a familiar tinkling of music coming from Blaine's fingers on the piano. I've heard him fiddling around with it for months, but never the actual melody or lyrics.

_I've been alone,  
Surrounded by darkness,  
I've seen how heartless,  
The world can be._

_Baby, you're not alone,  
Cause you're here with me.  
And nothing's ever gonna bring us down,  
Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you.  
And you know it's true,  
It don't matter what'll come to be,  
Our love is all we need to make it through._

How can he become even more perfect, my plans for tonight are only solidified in my mind with his words?

_I still have trouble,  
I trip and stumble,  
Trying to make sense of things sometimes.  
I look for reasons.  
But I don't need 'em,  
All I need is to look in your eyes,  
And I realize..._

My heart aches with the truth of his lyrics, and everything we've combated together. We are all our own worst enemies and we've even combated them. Tears run freely from my eyes and it's hard to imagine how life could become any more perfect. Sam gives me a questioning look and I give him the signal to light the candles. Our apartment is close to NYU so he's only gone for about half an hour as we watch the other performers finish up the show.

Blaine comes out after and I immediately grab hold of him before Rachel can. After a long minute I lean back and look at his lovely hazel eyes. "Thank you. I'm so proud to be with you, I'm so happy that you're mine." His face breaks into a face shattering smile and I look how his eyes crinkle up. I can just imagine those laugh lines becoming more prominent as the years go by. It makes sense; he has the brightest smile of us all.

Sam is quick to distract Rachel and Clare by insisting they go get ice cream (even Rachel breaks her vegan habit). Blaine and I hold hands as we walk back to our apartment in the warm spring air. Just before we get to the front door of our loft I stop Blaine. I don't think I've ever been so nervous in my entire life, and I know Blaine can feel it too. He leans forward to give me a long slow kiss which calms me a bit.

"I've planned a bit of a surprise for you." His eyes light up at the words surprise and I have to stop myself from laughing. "But I'll have to cover your eyes." He pouts but allows me to put a tie around his head and secure it. His hand reaches out for mine and I open the door to our loft. What he doesn't see is the dozens of candles systematically placed around the apartment so that the room is filled with a soft glow. His hand reaches out for a light switch but I stop him; instead pressing the button on my stereo and a soft song plays out.

**At this point in time I highly suggest that you look up Ed Sheeran – Kiss Me and play it for the rest of the story.**

His smiles grows when we hears the song and he doesn't question my guiding capabilities as I take him to our framed puzzle on the wall, only now the middle piece is filled. I take the tie off of Blaine's head and his eyes dart to the frame in front of him. Flames flicker across his face and I can barely make out the contours of it.

It reads,

"_It's time I started using my own words instead of always stealing your beautiful ones._

_There was a time in my life when I thought I'd never fall in love._

_But one day, a young man jumped right into my life singing a rendition of a teen pop song._

_I guess you could say the rest is history but we both know that's not true._

_We've had enough ups and downs to put Harry and Sally to shame, _

_But I wouldn't change a moment of it for anything._

_But for the last time, I'm going to have to be selfish now,_

_Because I want you, and only you for the rest of my life._

_And I guess love is the best kind of selfish and selfless._

_Because I'll give everything to you and in return you'll do the same._

_But we also expect to only belong to each other for the rest of forever,_

_And I'm okay with that, because I know you are too._

_I guess I'm just trying to say is that I want you to be mine forever,_

_And in return I'll be yours._

_So there's only one last thing to ask._

_Blaine Anderson..."_

Below the words is a sketch of two rings, each with a single bow tie lightly inscribed into the exterior.

"Kurt, what?" Blaine says lightly as he turns around to see me for the first time since entering our apartment. I'm crouched on the floor, with a knee propped, holding two rings inside a velvet box. His eyes widen in realization.

The song sings out "_Settle down with me, and I'll be your safety_"

"Would you do me the honour, of becoming, my husband?" I take deep breaths between each set of words, unable to get more than a few out at a time.

And the best part is, there is no doubt in his voice when he says, "Of course".

**Author's note: I ended up scraping Chapter 10 because I didn't like it and went straight to the epilogue. It was just really a filler and I felt like it wasn't good writing. This chapter took me a really long time to write because I wanted it to be perfect. I want to thank everyone for reading my story, it means the world to me. I will be writing another story shortly that is set supposedly during Wemma's wedding and Moulin Rouge episode but I will not be using any spoilers and it will all be speculation. Probably only three or four chapters but it's going to focus on Klaine, Brittana, and Sam, maybe some Finchel.**

**Thank you again to all of my wonderful readers who have always been absolutely amazing with giving me reviews, and been very patient with my slow updates. Have a good evening, and Everything is Klaine and Nothing Hurts.**

**Sincerely,**

**BeWho**

**P.S. This is my favourite love song and it just seems fitting to me.**


End file.
